Have an honest discussion with your spouse and grade your
marriage on these 7 keys to facilitate a necessary conversation.
1. Commitment – first to God, then to family. Show how much you love God
by the way you love your spouse. One’s personal relationship with Christ is
the most important of all. When our relationship with the Lord is
flourishing, it helps us to be who we need to be in all of our relationships.
a) Your commitment to each other has to be solid and held together by
your faith in God.
b) Be so committed to each other that you are willing to put their needs
ahead of your own. (Love sacrificially)
2. Purpose - Always seek to know God’s will and plan for your family:
a) Your spiritual development will help in discovering God’s will for your
family (As it is revealed to you, walk in it).
b) Seek to understand how you and your spouse can maximize the gifts
and talents you have to work together.
c) Where is God taking us? And why has He brought us together?
3. Communication and Listening – a critical part of relationship
strengthening.
a) Learning each other’s language (the special way in which your spouse
uniquely communicates) is a process.
b) Listening and allowing your spouse to fully and completely express
what’s on their mind or in their heart.
c) Acknowledging when your spouse is right or has a better idea.
4. Intimacy – achieving closeness. Let there be no distance between us.
a) Forming a bond spiritually.
b) Forming a bond emotionally.
c) Forming a bond physically.
5. Forgiveness – the willingness and ability to forgive is necessary in marriage.
a) Not holding grudges or using your spouses’ past mistakes against them.
b) Hold them accountable in the spirit of love.
c) Facilitate a loving environment that encourages confession of wrong.
6. Finances – Faithfully manage your God given resources and blessings. Build
generational wealth by attacking debt, increasing cash flow, and
researching ways to tap into streams of revenue.
a) Tithing – Proverbs 3:9-10 Honor the Lord with thy substance, and with
the firstfruits of all thine increase: so shall thy barns be filled with plenty,
and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.
b) Organize and put a budget together and (stick to it).
c) Decide on who is better to take the lead in guiding the family on
financial maters.
7. Health – wellness and wholeness begins and ends with God working on us,
spirit, soul and body.
a) Spiritual – the goal is to always be growing and advancing in God. Read 1
Peter 2:2
b) Mental – God will help us to maintain a joyous, upbeat state of mind.
Read Philippians 4:4-8
c) Physical – As we endeavor to mature spiritually, we should never
neglect our physical health. Exercising and eating nutritious foods will go
a long way in preventing many sicknesses. (Take care of your temple).
*** Conversation is crucial. Use this list to establish a framework to guide your
heart to heart talks. It’s important to discuss the “state of your union” to learn
where you can improve and do things better.
From the heart and hand of
Pastor Reginald Reaves
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